Remade the poster “Icon of This Age ”. The new version is simpler.

The other day I voiced my short film “Sunset (I know it will happen again) ”. It was very important to me that the voice sounded natural. I did several takes¹ - where I feel relaxed, there are always rough edges and mistakes - here you can’t hear a letter, there the accent is wrong. It seems simple - try and everything will be great, but then the soul is lost and I hear artificiality. There are projects where this is not so important, but here it was extremely important, and I am my own strictest director.

This makes you think about the fact that the present is imperfect. Expressing yourself honestly may lead to dissatisfaction with the result, since it is human nature to make mistakes.

I made a short film based on my poem. This work is very important to me because I aimed to convey as accurately as possible the feelings I experienced this year. Made with love.

Since ancient times, people have tried to illuminate their lives as much as possible, because darkness is frightening and arouses exploratory and conquering interest. But today this leads to light pollution ¹ of cities. And if we understand light not literally, then it is the desire to “illuminate” as much as possible around us - more information, more “useful” surfaces and screens, more contacts with people per unit of time. Sounds good, but it has a terrible effect on us every day - defocus, laziness and loss of interest, because there is so much around us right now.

You need to be able to turn off everything for yourself, and then gradually return only what is truly significant. Here is your true interest right now and nothing else exists at all - the candle flame. At this moment, the surrounding emptiness creates space for perception of the most important thing. After a while, when your eyes get used to it, you begin to distinguish the details of the space, you will see more context, more colors. The space will acquire more meaning, because it surrounds the object of your interest now.

For example, you are sitting opposite another person. You are calmly communicating. Pay attention only to this moment. Turn off and remove your smartphone from the table. Instead of a noisy and crowded cafe, sit on a bench in the evening park or in the kitchen with a cup of tea. The person opposite you is a candle flame - only its light is important now, only it illuminates the space.

This can be applied to the project you are working on, to information, to rest. It is not for nothing that people prefer a paper book instead of a digital one - nothing should distract attention, including the medium.

Only the candle flame reflected in your pupils.

Photography is an opportunity to capture a moment as I see it. A reflection of the external. I am only an observer.

Poetry is an opportunity to capture thoughts and feelings so that they do not scatter across a sheet of paper. A reflection of the internal. Again, I am only an observer.

There is one goal. My guiding star.

I have already written about “breadcrumbs” on the way , which help us remember who we are and why we ended up here. But I liked another description of captured moments - sparks. Feelings are like sparks. Sparks from the past that “ignite” you today.

If “breadcrumbs” sounds a bit boring and has little connection with the emotionality of the moment, then the word “spark” lights up. In my opinion, the comparison of emotional moments with sparks is very apt.

Here’s what Winnie Lim writes :

I would not be re-reading these posts if not for dayone or timehop, and re-reading them lights up something in me, especially if I am in a period of existential slump, which occurs more often than I would like. Sometimes I forget I can be capable of writing in more dimensions than my usual stream of consciousness. I could reduce the time I spend in existential slumps if I could access these little sparks of my old selves in a more timely and accessible manner.

In another note I compared to flame:

Of course, I don’t think that the reader will immediately shed tears after reading my quote from an article from a year ago. No! First of all, I want to shed tears or laugh myself. This old note becomes part of a new product (note, article, book, podcast, film) and brings a piece of that energy here. This can be compared to a torch that I brought to light a new fire.

Sometimes, looking at myself yesterday, I want to urgently change something in myself today. I read a note from two years ago and the first thought is “What kind of stupidity am I saying?” The second thought is “Why am I saying it this way and not that way?”.

But why does this happen?

We perceive ourselves as unchanged, although we are changing right this second. Change is a continuous process. Everything around us changes. We change too. I am today - not me yesterday¹. Looking at myself yesterday and “clutching my head”, you need to be glad that something has changed.

He tells her something, she listens attentively and with noticeable interest. What is their relationship like now? Why are they still together? So many years have passed, and they still feel good together? But there are so many options around. Couldn’t they find someone better in their entire lives? What if this is not the right person? Did they figure it out themselves, without the advice of psychologists from YouTube and “wise”, but somehow lonely friends?

It is especially difficult today to remain yourself and find your own. Everyone attacks with intrusive advice, an endless stream of temptations is just a click away in shiny algorithmic feeds.

Here he is - my man! I feel good with him. We just walk, holding hands, through a quiet evening city.

I know that they have gone this way. It was this path that brought them together. Each next step was taken for the sake of all the previous and subsequent ones. You don’t need to read Fromm to learn about love. Two old men know.

In childhood, many different events happened - everything was new, everything was for the first time, everything was interesting. But the older we get, the more “flat” and monotonous life feels. It seems that now there is little surprise, but a lot of routine. You may well remember the moment you met a peer on that cozy winter evening in the schoolyard twenty-five years ago, but you don’t remember the topic of an interesting conversation with a friend two months ago or the delight of yesterday’s sunset.

People strive to diversify their lives, to make it brighter and richer, but if you turn around and look back, everyone will see a dark, calm river. Life flows, but we do not remember its moments.

Looking at childhood, we understand that we have become better. Growth and development are noticeable in the comparison of the current and previous moments (retrospective).

Here’s what I wrote about this in my regular note 2024-05-19:

In general, the question of coercion and motivation is open. Is it necessary to do this or am I thus preventing myself from maturing and being reborn, renewed? Without renewal I am degrading. A child cannot refuse to grow and mature. But as we age, if we do not observe progress in retrospect, we do not develop. I wanted to write that time is not worth it and you need to keep up, but is an oak tree or a leaf trying to keep up? Are they generally afraid of being late?

But I will focus on this. The point is not to compare something to look smart. Today, from every “iron” you can hear a call to become even more intelligent, well-read, analytical, and comparing. Nope! You need to be human and just try to live the moments more carefully, not lose the precious “beads” of life, but carefully collect them and string them on a fishing line, enjoying life, observing and drawing conclusions about yourself and the world around you.

What to do? Start documenting your life!

Thought from my regular note 2024-05-19:

In general, the question of coercion and motivation is open. Is it necessary to do this or am I thus preventing myself from maturing and being reborn, renewed? Without renewal I am degrading. A child cannot refuse to grow and mature. But as we age, if we don’t look at our progress in retrospect, we don’t develop. I wanted to write that time is not worth it and you need to keep up, but is an oak tree or a leaf trying to keep up? Are they generally afraid of being late?