In childhood, many different events happened - everything was new, everything was for the first time, everything was interesting. But the older we get, the more “flat” and monotonous life feels. It seems that now there is little surprise, but a lot of routine. You may well remember the moment you met a peer on that cozy winter evening in the schoolyard twenty-five years ago, but you don’t remember the topic of an interesting conversation with a friend two months ago or the delight of yesterday’s sunset.

People strive to diversify their lives, to make it brighter and richer, but if you turn around and look back, everyone will see a dark, calm river. Life flows, but we do not remember its moments.

Looking at childhood, we understand that we have become better. Growth and development are noticeable in the comparison of the current and previous moments (retrospective).

Here’s what I wrote about this in my regular note 2024-05-19:

In general, the question of coercion and motivation is open. Is it necessary to do this or am I thus preventing myself from maturing and being reborn, renewed? Without renewal I am degrading. A child cannot refuse to grow and mature. But as we age, if we do not observe progress in retrospect, we do not develop. I wanted to write that time is not worth it and you need to keep up, but is an oak tree or a leaf trying to keep up? Are they generally afraid of being late?

But I will focus on this. The point is not to compare something to look smart. Today, from every “iron” you can hear a call to become even more intelligent, well-read, analytical, and comparing. Nope! You need to be human and just try to live the moments more carefully, not lose the precious “beads” of life, but carefully collect them and string them on a fishing line, enjoying life, observing and drawing conclusions about yourself and the world around you.

What to do? Start documenting your life!

Suddenly, I realized the beauty of the concept of “breadcrumbs.” You might have heard it used in the context of navigating interfaces¹. But I thought of breadcrumbs in the context of documentation. We leave things along the way so that we can remember who we are and why we are here.

Sometimes, looking at myself yesterday, I want to urgently change something in myself today. I read a note from two years ago and the first thought is “What kind of stupidity am I saying?” The second thought is “Why am I saying it this way and not that way?”.

But why does this happen?

We perceive ourselves as unchanged, although we are changing right this second. Change is a continuous process. Everything around us changes. We change too. I am today - not me yesterday¹. Looking at myself yesterday and “clutching my head”, you need to be glad that something has changed.

I have already written about “breadcrumbs” on the way , which help us remember who we are and why we ended up here. But I liked another description of captured moments - sparks. Feelings are like sparks. Sparks from the past that “ignite” you today.

If “breadcrumbs” sounds a bit boring and has little connection with the emotionality of the moment, then the word “spark” lights up. In my opinion, the comparison of emotional moments with sparks is very apt.

Here’s what Winnie Lim writes :

I would not be re-reading these posts if not for dayone or timehop, and re-reading them lights up something in me, especially if I am in a period of existential slump, which occurs more often than I would like. Sometimes I forget I can be capable of writing in more dimensions than my usual stream of consciousness. I could reduce the time I spend in existential slumps if I could access these little sparks of my old selves in a more timely and accessible manner.

In another note I compared to flame:

Of course, I don’t think that the reader will immediately shed tears after reading my quote from an article from a year ago. No! First of all, I want to shed tears or laugh myself. This old note becomes part of a new product (note, article, book, podcast, film) and brings a piece of that energy here. This can be compared to a torch that I brought to light a new fire.

Photography is an opportunity to capture a moment as I see it. A reflection of the external. I am only an observer.

Poetry is an opportunity to capture thoughts and feelings so that they do not scatter across a sheet of paper. A reflection of the internal. Again, I am only an observer.

There is one goal. My guiding star.